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Saturday, 1 September 2007

image for Card is Politically Incorrect
The consequences of this could be catestrophic for the nations waistline.

The new National Ice-cream card comes out today. This is the latest of a string of fresh ideas from National Ice-cream in order to reinstate the image of ice-cream. Holders of the card pay from five pounds a month and in return they can get any ice cream for free or at reduced prices.

National ice cream are also becoming a part of the nectar group so that any purchases of ice-cream give you Nectar points which can be used to buy air miles and stuff, oh I don't know.

However the new cards are not available to fat people and some people are saying that this is blatant fatism. But National Ice-cream is saying that their policies simply reflect the government's policies on girth-control.

We spoke to a government spokes person from the Ministry of Health and Trousers, junior minister Pierce Brosman. He said:

"Our policies are completely in line with the European convention on human rights and the policies mentioned are exactly the same as those imposed by the Bureau du la Santé et le Pantalons last year."

But what will this result in? Is this the start of the beginning, or the end of the finish?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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