A seventy six year old man was sentenced to life imprisonment today for stealing over the period of seventy one years over one and a half million pounds worth of penny sweets.
He stole on average sixty sweets a day taking them from six or seven different news agents where he developed relationships with members of staff and bought newspapers in order to justify his daily visits.
The man was discovered when neighbours noticed the number of sweets in and around his house and garden.
The crown prosecution described the defendant as a pathetic and cowardly wimp and said, very controversially that he thought that the death penalty should be kept for such miserable little crimes in order that less of the time of the courts should be wasted.
The judge residing over the proceedings mister justice Twerp, commented saying "I have seen many vile, violent, vulgar and vicious crimes brought to justice, but none so infinitesimally big that they are really tiny as this useless looser spending every day of his life purloining a few sweets to take home to his enormous collection."