Charles Dickens, prolific writer of brick sized books is to come out of retirement one last time, even though the author has been dead for more than 150 years.
The writer of such classics as Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, Bleak House, and the Pickwick Papers is said to be setting his new opus in a used car salesroom. It has been described by literature experts from Big Brother 8 as a cross between Eastenders and Glengarry Glenn Ross by David Mamet.
Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, and Stephen Fry are already in the frame for the film, whilst the book is set to be launched next year, in the gap where JK Rowlings tales of a juvenile magic maker are normally released upon an unsuspecting world.
In a similar story, the challenge has also been taken up by Thomas Hardy, who will re-write popular miserablism fest Jude the Obscure as a morality play for modern times.