A dead man has been arrested by police in Cheshire for loitering with intent in a graveyard near to where he died seven months ago.
Local people reported seeing him in the graveyard both during the day and at night. Police moved in last night to remove him from the area. Unfortunately his arms fell off on the way to the police station and he has to be put into various separate carrier bags.
On arriving at the police station and taking his details, the police discovered that he was a resident of Saint Morgans home for the terminally lifeless and he was released without charge.
This is yet another of numerous cases where people have been accused of committing crimes that they have not done, simply because of their lack of flesh and the local peoples deathism and attitude towards people differently incentivised to themselves.
A local hag said: "He doesn't really fit into the area, most of the people around here like to play bingo or whist, while all he does is decompose and decay. I mean, I'm not prejudiced against the deadies, but I just don't want his sort near where I live."
It is impossible to say what effect new government guidelines will have, since the government are not planning to issue any at any time ever.