Written by Captain Equality
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Tuesday, 28 August 2007

image for Cerne Giant's Penis Goes Purple - 'Phantom' Claims Responsibility

The giant 40ft penis of the world famous Cerne Giant, in the Dorset village of Cerne Abbas has been painted purple last night according to campaign group Fathers 4 Justice (F4J).

The group say they were contacted this morning by a father describing himself as the West Country's 'Purple Phantom'. Purple is the international colour for equality. Written beside the giant were a reference to a recently published book by Fathers 4 Justice.

The Phantom who styles himself and gets his inspiration from is favourite artist 'Banksy' wishes to remain anonymous but has commented

'The only people who might be a bit upset are the couples who apparently regularly copulate on the penis in the dead of night because it apparently has magical powers to boost fertility.It'll be interesting to see how many local men complain of purple hands and knees and women end up with purple bottoms and highlights! '

'The Giants penis definitely has a purple ting rather than a bright glow but rumour has it the local council have been 'rubbing it off' - Rather them than me you don't know what might happen !!'

When asked about any damage the Phantom said that 'The grass would grow quickly at this time of year and within the month you should be able to trim his bush.' If in a rush he suggested a quick Brazilian wax.

The 'Purple Phantom' also warned that he was going to close roads in Dorset and the West Country by spreading over two tonnes of purple jam onto major roads, dual carriageways and motorways. In the call he said, 'I've got my jam, and I'm going to use it.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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