Written by Duff
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Monday, 27 August 2007

image for Pheww! Britain Swelters In Bank Holiday Hot Spell
London's Hyde Park Yesterday

Proof if proof were needed that global warming is taking hold of Britain in an icy death-like grip, as for the first time in living memory the weather over the bank holiday has been nice.

Former weather bloke Michael Fish tells us:

"It's all down to a belt of nice weather moving across the country keeping the recent bad weather at bay. And to the lady who wrote in to me, don't worry there certainly will be no hurricane today"

When asked if he thought the good spell could be attributed to global warming he says:

"Don't think so mate. If you ask me that's a load of old cobblers made up by boffins and kill-joys"

But environmental activist and eco-warrior, Porky, has a different take on things.

"Ever since they went into outer-space it has messed up the world's eco-system. All them rockets do be a-doin' a lot of very bad stuff"

But thankfully we can ignore Porky as he's an absolute barmpot and certainly the people don't care much just so long as they can have their barbecues and garden parties.

Last word on this must go to Bert Scraper who is an amateur weather forecaster who said last night:

"Ooh! It's smashing ain't it son? Lavverly!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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