"With blood on her hands the mad eyed bitch moved towards her prey" sang Barry Manilow in his 1982 hit, 'She left me for a Sailor Boy'. How prophetic his words seem this morning. In a display of Royal rage not witnessed since Prince Harry was told by his Grandmother to lay oft the 'Snowy Chaplin', The Duchess of Cornwall stated today:
"I wouldn't go within a thousand miles of 'that woman's' memorial service. She brought nothing but misery to my husband's life . We all know that if she wasn't vomiting she was falling down stairs. She never accepted her position and for that I can never forgive her."
When our Royal Correspondent, Peter Musgrove, politely reminded Camilla that 'her husband' was in fact married to Princess Diana and that she bore him two sons who will no doubt keep an outdated, undemocratic feudal Class structure going for the next 100 years and further that she and her interbred cronies would be the greatest beneficiaries of this, the Duchess replied: "Who did you think sired my children...Frank fuckin' Skinner?"
With this bombshell Camilla mounted her Byerly Turk and galloped off into the distance.