Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Boris Johnson

Saturday, 25 August 2007

image for New Biscuits launched in honour of Boris Johnson
No, Biscuits for Dogs, not biscuits made from dogs

Biscuit makers in Torquay have launched a brand new biscuit in honour of forthcoming London Mayoral candidate, Boris Johnson.

Based on an old recipe that takes ideas and ingredients from many other types of biscuit, the new Bozzer Biscuit will be launched in early September 2007.

However, the manufacturers forgot to advertise the biscuit as being for Dogs, and the lawyers were at the office of managing director Dr Herbert Von Frankenstein before the first load was dispatched to London. In a statement Dr Frankenstein said:

'We put a picture of a Golden Retriever on the front, playing a bagpipe whilst chasing other dogs whilst riding a bicycle. We thought that would be a clue at least. We didn't write Dog Biscuits on the packet, as they will only be for sale in Pet Shops, we all thought that that would be enough without making it explicit, and know I face years in jail. I would have gotten away with it if it had not been for these meddling kids' he said, referring to the first humans to mistakenly eat the biscuits, and then complained of nausea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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