The new branch of terror police, armed with axes, has been re-deployed from today. They were suspended from duty last year, after several incidents, within London's tube network.
However there are now certain procedures that the terror police must follow before setting to with the axe. They must first ask the suspect if they are a terrorist. If they say yes then they should be taken to a police station, if no then they are obliged to lay into them with the weapon.
This hypocritical rubbish has caused the government and the metropolitan police a not inconsiderable amount of trouble.
Many people see this as a bad move, since it discriminates against non-terrorists, and only allows real ones a minimum amount of difficulty before they are set free again.
To counter act this the 'Ministry for Terror and Stuff' has proposed legislation in which every British citizen should be given a terror license from which points would be deducted for each atrocity committed.
For example a road side bomb would earn you three pints from your license and a fifty pound fine, whilst a suicide bomb on a train would earn someone five points, a ten pound fine, and a three week suspension from their licence. Any break in the contract of the licence would result in life imprisonment or a jail sentence.