Sellafield, Cumbria - (Ass Mess): Having fought off fierce competition from the Vatican Crypt and Chernobyl in the Ukraine, the Sellafield landfill site that forms part of the former Magnox nuclear fuel reprocessing plant will host the final resting place of Old Fatty Mountbatten.
Described as still brimming with active toxic components, the Cumbrian site was formerly part of the World War II Royal Ordnance Factory which supplied Zyklon-B gas to the Nazis via a covert network run by the woman who impersonated George VI's wife Queen Elizabeth after the monarch, his spouse and eldest daughter all perished in the Luftwaffe's bombing of Buckingham Palace inSeptember 1940.
Shortly after 9/11 a large trench was dug in the disused Sellafield compound which has also served as a dump for various toxic materials such as those reclaimed from disused US Navy battleships which George Bush sold off as scrap to the Blair government in December 2005.
The site has now been cordoned off and a public notice placed nearby informing the public that "Trespassers will be irradiated".
"We expect to fill the landfill with its designated cargo shortly," an MoD spokesman confirmed today adding that there would also be plenty of room for Prince (sic) Philip and all the other leading Puppet Monarchy thespians.