In what appears to be more of a list of names than a serious news item, 'The Spoof' today claims that more men have one off the Oliver thinking about sexy Kate Middleton than they do about Royal outcast Diana Spencer.
When asked in a survey about which of the two Silver Spooned Princesses they'd rather think about when practicing self love, 72% of respondents replied that curvy Kate would be their choice.
Below is a list of some of the people who admitted to taking their thoughts about Ms Middleton to a climatic conclusion over the last 28 days :
- John Wells 28, Civil Engineer, Berkshire
Paul McNulty 44, Artist, Manchester
Geoffrey Carter 44, Ambulance Driver, Dorset
Sting 55, Musician, Wiltshire
John Sargeant 63,Journalist, London
Steven Pritchard 45, IT Technologist, Milton Keynes
Rt Rev Graham Dow 59, Bishop of Carlisle.
Basil Brush 72, Fox Puppet, Torquay
Peter Trainor 52, BT Engineer, Slade Green
Manfred Mann and two of his Earth Band, 60's, Fulham
Pat Butcher 61,Bookie, Walford
Ramone Fitapaldi 23, Chef, Glasgow
Nicola Watson 36, Nurse, Bromley by Bow
Doug Mountjoy 62, Snooker player, Ebbw Vale
Prince Charles 58, Prince, Windsor
Stephen Hawking 65, Scientist, New York
Frank Skinner 51, Comedian, London
Andrew Trainor 41, Fireman, Crayford
Gladys Knight and all of her Pips 72,Soul Singers,Florida.
Dawn French 49, Lovely Lady, Cornwall
Mrs and Mrs Richardson 65, Retired Fishmongers, Woking.
Paulo Di Canio 39, Footballer, Rome.
It seems then that the sooner lucky boy William marries our gorgeous Kate the better it would be for everyone.
Keeping her in the public domain would no doubt keep us all perky for many years to come.