Written by Kent Pete
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Saturday, 18 August 2007

image for "Kate Middleton sexier than Di ever was" survey claims
Not as horny as Kate it seems.

In what appears to be more of a list of names than a serious news item, 'The Spoof' today claims that more men have one off the Oliver thinking about sexy Kate Middleton than they do about Royal outcast Diana Spencer.

When asked in a survey about which of the two Silver Spooned Princesses they'd rather think about when practicing self love, 72% of respondents replied that curvy Kate would be their choice.

Below is a list of some of the people who admitted to taking their thoughts about Ms Middleton to a climatic conclusion over the last 28 days :

    John Wells 28, Civil Engineer, Berkshire
    Paul McNulty 44, Artist, Manchester
    Geoffrey Carter 44, Ambulance Driver, Dorset
    Sting 55, Musician, Wiltshire
    John Sargeant 63,Journalist, London
    Steven Pritchard 45, IT Technologist, Milton Keynes
    Rt Rev Graham Dow 59, Bishop of Carlisle.
    Basil Brush 72, Fox Puppet, Torquay
    Peter Trainor 52, BT Engineer, Slade Green
    Manfred Mann and two of his Earth Band, 60's, Fulham
    Pat Butcher 61,Bookie, Walford
    Ramone Fitapaldi 23, Chef, Glasgow
    Nicola Watson 36, Nurse, Bromley by Bow
    Doug Mountjoy 62, Snooker player, Ebbw Vale
    Prince Charles 58, Prince, Windsor
    Stephen Hawking 65, Scientist, New York
    Frank Skinner 51, Comedian, London
    Andrew Trainor 41, Fireman, Crayford
    Gladys Knight and all of her Pips 72,Soul Singers,Florida.
    Dawn French 49, Lovely Lady, Cornwall
    Mrs and Mrs Richardson 65, Retired Fishmongers, Woking.
    Paulo Di Canio 39, Footballer, Rome.

It seems then that the sooner lucky boy William marries our gorgeous Kate the better it would be for everyone.

Keeping her in the public domain would no doubt keep us all perky for many years to come.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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