Written by Greg Creedy
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Saturday, 11 August 2007

image for Police To Shoot Climate Protesters
Protesters Will Be Shot

Next Tuesday's climate change demonstrations at Heathrow airport are likely to make the headlines for all the wrong reasons.

Police armed with AK-47s have been given permission to use anti-terror laws to disperse protesters and shoot anybody who looks in any way like a terrorist.

These laws give the police the power to:

  • Do anything they want.

As shocking as it sounds, the use of anti-terror laws to disrupt peaceful demonstrations is nothing new.

In April 2003 anti-war demonstrations at RAF Fairford in Gloucestershire saw the arrests of five peaceful protesters who were later sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Another protester, seventy-eight year old Mavis Chutney was shot dead for wearing a hat.

Senior police officers deny that they encourage the use of anti-terror laws against peaceful demonstrators, though many in the force have spoken of discreet, almost subliminal influences at their local stations.

Ex-police officer Trevor Henry Williamson of Victoria Avenue, Bury St Edmunds, who wishes to remain anonymous, told The Spoof, "Our local nick had a big poster which said 'Hippies are terrorists too.' I didn't think that was on so I left to join the BNP."

As for the upcoming climate demonstrations, it looks likely that police will once again be reaching out the long arm of the law with a heavy boot.

Senior police officer Heinrich Himmler told The Spoof, "Anti-terrorism powers are there to prevent acts of terrorism. The clue's in the title. These protesters are clearly terrorists in disguise. Many of them are no doubt Afghan and Iraqi insurgents made up to look like scruffy demonstrators. But they don't fool me. We'll be bringing in around 2000 Schutzstaffel - sorry, I mean police officers to keep a truncheon - sorry, I mean eye on the protesters."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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