Written by Dan Holmes
Print this
Topics: Money, poor

Tuesday, 2 March 2004

image for Fair Trade - Ten Glorious Years
This banana needs you!

It's Fair Trade fortnight - so let's all celebrate improved relations with the colonies and more money in those poor benighted natives' pockets!

Yes, that's right. Fair Trade, the organisation that tries to iron out the massive inequalities in trading relations between us here in the affluent west and those downtrodden chappies in the Third World, is celebrating its tenth anniversary. That's Ten Glorious Years of helping people with skins of a different hue try to be more like us.

Stanley Livingstone, Fair Trade spokesmouthpiece, was bullish. "In ten short years we've managed a huge amount," he told theSpoof. "What we could have done in ten long years I don't know, but anyway. Bananas, tea, cheap red wine for running the car - you name it, we've brought it under the Fair Trade umbrella. It's summed up by our motto - overpriced, overproduced, over here."

"Our greatest success? Without a doubt it has to be Fair Trade Slavery. No longer are slaves sold in the west for peanuts - though peanuts wouldn't be a bad swap, by any means. No. These days our dusky maidens and husky lads command a good price on the open market. It doesn't matter whether you're looking for women for sex, men for work, or the other way around, Fair Trade Slaves has what you want - at a Fair Trade price. Log onto our website - www.slaves4u.com - and check out the merchandise."

Make Dan Holmes's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

8 1 16 23
42 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more