LONDON (Defecated News) - North London has been mourning the loss of Hans Bokz (109), German born inventor who took Harrow to be his home after The War. Hans had shot to fame in the swinging sixties after inventing the box. Prior to this, people had only used plastic bags for all things including cigarettes, funerals and shoes. Even PCs were first made with microchips in shopping bags - honest.
The glory days were over in the seventies, however when Hans first discovered 'bottles' of alcohol, then 'packets' of skunk and later, 'syringes' of heroin.
Close family friend Fanny Batter told The Spoof: "Hans should have stuck to boxes. Bottles and other shit just fucked him up. He will now be buried in his first ever box, made out of newspaper and glue. It's just not right. When he made boxes life was so good for him, then it all went arse up. I blame Thatcher."
Bokz fled Germany during the war, after Hitler put pressure on him to design an exploding box with which to kill us all. He refused and fled, like that Einstein bloke. He leaves seven children, all with predictable names like Kaadbod, Schoo, and Krikit.
Richard Dyson refused to comment.