Written by Cholera
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Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for Foot-in-mouth update: 'My old bull, Ned, collapsed before my eyes'
Gordon Brown is determined to stop farmers wanking their bulls off.

The second farmer to fall victim to the foot-and-mouth outbreak wept yesterday as he told how his constant arse banging of the poor beast eventually wore it out, and how he then gave it a dose of the dreaded disease in order to clear his tracks.

Gordon Brown, Leader of The Munchkins said "THE DIRTY BASTARD" and went on to say "I'd chemically castrate every last one of those dirty, rent arrears owing, brand new tractor buying, Tax evading sheep shaggers".

Brown, a financier of narrowboats, nearly blew a gasket when advised of the farmer who pumped his bull, a pump too far "LET ME NEAR THE DIRTY BASTARD, I'LL RIP HIS GLANS TO SHREDS".

Kay Burley, ace reporter for Sky News, wept nearby as the farmer emptied his love spuds for the last time, into the deceased bull, for old times sake.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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