Written by Aisubeki Akiudo

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Topics: Smoking Ban

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for Backlash Against UK Smoking Ban
Low tar? No, ta.

LONDON (Defecated News) - Just weeks after what appeared to be a success, the UK's new smoking laws are coming under scrutiny. One group has even planned attacks.

A group called SMURFS (Smoking Makes U Really Fucking Sexy), a pro-smoking, anti-choice, pro-lesbian movement has called for the PM to stand down, Lord Levy to be hung and smoking to be promoted in schools.

"We believe that the new laws are in breach of the 2009 Interplanetary Convention on Humanoid Rights. This states that 'any humanoid may smoke when and where they feel like it,' so there. If this restriction continues, we will urinate on the door of Number 10 daily, until we are heard. We will even poop on the bonnet of the PM's Jag", said Harvey Ballbanger, Papa SMURF.

Health Secretary Miss Marple responded at PMQs today,

"SMURF may be feeling small and blue about this issue, but it's in the interest of all UK citizens. We cannot be threatened by a minority of evil bastards."

Gargamel refused to comment.

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