Whitehall, SW1 - (Contagious Press): The foot and mouth outbreak started by government scientists at their US-oursourced Meriel Animal Testing Laboratory in Pirbright, Surrey may have been the result of a secret Whitehall project attempting to make Camilla utterly irresistible to those UK voters who would rather have Teletubbies La-La or Po named as the next Queen than the Hellfire Club's top UK mainland bomber from Thatcher Administration days.
Sources close to the pharmalab said today that Meriel had been trying to create a pheromone-based spray sourced from a mixture of bovine hormones and secretions in Camilla's armpit which would have been sprayed into Heathrow Airport as well as into the London Water Ring Main.
"It should have had a mind-bending and mood-altering effect on humans," Defra inspectors admitted today.
"But meriel got it horribl;y wrong and used Camilla's hormones and secretions from bovine armpits, with dreadful consequences as everybody involved can see."
COBRA was trying to keep a lid on the story today after being lambasted by UK tabloids for ignoring the satirical website The Spoof! ten days ago for warning that this outbreak was bound to occur in the aftermath of the recent floods.
But now that the Met's Serious and Disorganised Fraud Squad is involved in the fracas thiongs could get very interesting indeed.....
Lord Levy is an arsehole.