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Saturday, 4 August 2007

image for Foot & Mouth outbreak "in farm next door to Heather Mills new des res"
Heather Mills has been named as the source of the fetid disease

Surrey, England - (Disater Press): The outbreak of foot and mouth disease announced yesterday has been located to a Surrey farm right next door to Heather Mills's new £3 million bijou residence.

"This may be the ultimate Laws of Karma payback scenario for Heather," estate agents cooed today having pocketed their commission on the sale of the house last week to the rabidly vegan nutter ex-wife of Paul McCartney.

The property hit the headlines this week when Mills's wrangling was revealed with her farming neighbors after she tried to buy a field bordering both their properties "because of an intense cow allergy that she suffers from".

The country mansion is part of Mills's divorce settlement and was supposed to provide the privacy, peace and quiet that the daftass compulsive attention-seeker is addicted to.

The foot and mouth outbreak may now scupper some of those cherished dreams as Environment Agency officials have quarantined the area with 20 mile exclusion zone.

"We blame Heather Mills as the source of the fetid outbreak," local farmers said today.

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