Botswana - (Ass mess) A spider related to the African strain of the tarantula family reportedly bit holidaying Prince Harry on the ass yesterday, and had to be put down after contracting food poisoning.
The 22 year old Prince was enjoying himself on vacation with girlfriend Chelsy Davy when the incident occured resulting in him being airlifted to the nearest hospital for treatment.
Ms Davy was treated for shock after being told Harry's medication would result in a number of distressing side effects including impotence for the forseeable future.
Meanwhile World Wilflife Fund officials were called to exterminate the arachnid after it started having convulsions following its bite of the Princely posterios.
@We've never seen anything like it and had to put it out of its misery straight away," Botswana vets said today.
Kate Middleton is 29.