MacDonald's has announced the launch of their new burger the "Big chav". It is hoped that this will attract a larger number of people to their restaurants to boost declining sales. They have also announced a plan to create a baby sized burgers after research concluded that there were many chavvy single mums out there who were unsure what to feed their child. It is also hoped that the development of Burberry patterned cheese will also increase sales.
MacDonald's seem to have abandoned its attempts at creating a healthy menu in favour of a high fat and sugar menu. Ron a MacDonald's employee who wished to remain anonymous said "I have become disillusioned with MacDonald's, and to be honest I'm considering leaving the company, I have been with them since the start and have enjoyed my work up until now but the influx of chavs, losers and spacks into the restaurants has created an environment hostile to men dressed in a red wig and yellow dungarees. I hear Burger King are looking for a new king so I may try there"
Shadow Health Secretary Andrew Lansley said in reaction to MacDonald actions "I'm not that bothered if they are feeding all these chavs unhealthy food its not like any of them vote for us, most of them are too fat to be able to get out of their chairs to the polling booths and the rest probably wouldn't know which end of the pen to use if they actually got to the booths and that's if they managed to even find one."