Balmoral Castle, Blackadder - (Ass Mess): The Queen's Chaplain was received in audience today and reminded the Puppet Monarch at her Scottish highland retreat of the ancient curse of the Holy Maccabees, a feast day celebrated on August 1st and long predicted to herald the downfall of the Hellfire Club.
According to Ancient Celtic Lore the House of Mountbatten must best take heed on August 1st of the "tyranny that shakes the Rule of the Law, supported by Seven Pillocks of the Capitol Hill that endure the irrational frenzy of the Persecutor Bush".
Who were the Maccabees? A holy group of warriors that kept the faith and prophesied the rise of an Aryan Brotherhood tyrant whose spawn would one day take over lands by poisoning the minds of good men and true.
Each year at Balmoral Castle extra precautions are taken around August 1st in case of attempts to poison the Puppet Monarch with the locally grown hemlock weed that prophets have long predicted would cause her downfall.
"It's either hemlock or a long weekend with her new Prime Monster Gorgon Brown," a flunkey said today.
"Personally I'd take the hemlock and have done with it than endure the alternative!"