Written by Dick Kense
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Topics: BBC, Flooding, Luvvies

Friday, 27 July 2007

image for Flood Studies Confirm Mathematical Truth
He Was Right

A study of the recent devastating UK floods has confirmed a startling mathematical law which was until recently thought to be pure speculation.

Professor Iggy Bypass of the University of Castleford explained the theory in layman's terms. "It's really quite simple", he stated, "the floods began a few weeks ago in Yorkshire and Humberside and have slowly edged south through the Midlands towards London. This has caused a direct exponential growth in the amount of television coverage. It seems that the nearer the floods get towards the south east the more television coverage it receives."

An eyewitness in Tewkesbury confirms this hypothesis. Vice Admiral Lancelot Cholmondoley-Goblin, chairman of the local Farmers Union and Masonic Buggery Association said, "It's all but too true dear boy, there was one of those BBC chappies showing the lack of food in the local supermarket on telly yesterday. What you didn't see was all the television crew boys and girls in there ten minutes before buying up all the stock. There must have been about four hundred of the gits. They took all the latte".

After contacting Television Centre in London a BBC spokeswoman replied, "Don't ask me dearie, I'm the only one left here".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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