Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Flooding

Thursday, 26 July 2007

image for Rotting foot and mouth corpse burial grounds add to flood misery
Up to 50 million infected bovine corpses lie directly below the spreading flood waters

England - (Rioters): Enlightened Department for Afgriculture, Fisheries and Food policies to bury over 50 million farm animal corpses following the 2001 mad cow disease and the foot and mouth outbreaks are threatening to poison the entire nation as flood waters soak into the UK's livestock burial mounds and contaminate underground aquifers.

"This could be the ultimate Biblical plague scenario we had been hoping to avoid," Whitehall sources admitted today.

As the toxic flood waters spread across agriculutral land they are carrying a lethal cocktail of non-biodegradeable contaminants straight into the killing fields which were the brainchild of government policy under former Rural Affairs Secretary Margaret Beckett.

Becket's success at running the agriculture department resulted in a later elevation to the post of Foreign Secretary where burying more filthy, toxic stuff, like the government's Iraqi WMD intelligence cock-ups, became a substantial policy initiative.

Now a trickle-down effect in the UK countryside means that underground aquifers in South East England are becoming engorged with polluting poisons that then fill the country's resevoirs, just in time to be pumped into the London Ring Main.

Cobra, the government's emergency and crisis management committee, meeting today was said to be relieved that the threat to the nation more easily remedied than some external terrorist attack.

"We've become pretty good at scaring the nation shitless to get our way over detention without trial extensions to 56 days," a spokesman said today.

"This latest, naturally-occuring scare is just the icing on the cake we desperately need to subdue the population and hike up so called green taxes."

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