Breaking News (Bumble Bee Corporation) - A new Charity has been set up after studies have revealed that Smokers are an endangered species. The study also maintains that within as little as 5 years there will be no smokers left.
Mr Faggy Ash, founding member of the charity spoke to our correspondent earlier, who told us: "There is great concern that smokers will be extinct by the year 2012. There is just no where left for them to go. Ireland started it, followed by Scotland, Wales and now England. We need to raise enough money to buy them an island to keep them safe."
The study found that because of the smoking bans across the country the smokers habitat is greatly reduced. Everywhere is a smoke free zone. Members of the charity are calling for signs to be put up round the country telling smokers where they can smoke safely.
Mr Ash also told us that he had had a number of anonymous donations and membership of the charity was increasing by the hour. 'We now have people like Pete Doherty, Kate Moss and Charlotte Church to name but a few.'
Donations can be sent to 21 Butt End, Smoke-on-Trent, STU8 IT.