The flood catastrophe that struck many towns and cities in England was totally avoidable, according to a sewage worker in Croydon.
He told us: "We had a worried telephone call from a local resident who wanted to remain anonymous, who had launched a 'Bismarck' and who wanted to alert the system to the fact that an unusually large turd was on the way. He warned of dire consequences if no action was taken to divert it and it turned out to be true."
The problem apparently being that the council receive up to a dozen crank calls a night from boastful poopers and this call was ignored also. The beast in question found it's way into the capital's sewage drains and blocked them up completely, causing a huge back-up across the nation and thereby bunging the flood drains up in the process.