Written by Sacrament
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Topics: England, Flooding

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for "England is Sinking" claims Doomsday Cult

Proffesor Strebbling Co-founder and Leader of the Doomsday Cult "Noahs Ark" has claimed the recent wide spread flooding has absolutely nothing to do with the unseasonal rainfall, but the uncontrolled migration of overseas workers coming to England to seek work.

"Its obvious" said Strebbling "with the arrival of some 1,000,000 new people, their cars& possessions their additional weight is making the country sink..."

Speaking from his padded cell in Deep Marsh Secure Hospital Proffesor Strebbling maintains that unless the Western world stops mass migration, the whole of the planets axis could be effected.

"Look, its simple. Take a childs football and put it in the bath with you. Then put a big lump of plasticine on one side and see what happens. The ball rolls over..its obvious....."

Following his medication he continued to rant: "Having consulted the great oracle,looked at the entrails of a snail,and read the local weather forecasts if this redistribution of weight is not controlled, if the planet were to "roll over" England could end up where Australia is and Australia could end up where England is..."

Whitehall has reacted by saying this kind of scaremongering is bad for tourism as many Aussies visit England in particular to experience snow, wind, rain, hail and cold and to get away from 45 degree temperatures.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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