Written by Kent Pete

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Tuesday, 24 July 2007

image for "I'm more than just a piece of meat " claims Posh
A piece of meat yesterday.

Self publicizing bulimic Victoria Beckham claimed yesterday that she is, "fed up with being treated like a piece of meat".

Pouting like a nutter at our reporter Peter Musgrove she stormed, "Every time a man looks my way they always undress me and visualise us being in bed together with me taking it up the Charlie Anne. I'm sick of it."

After 3 minutes of further frenzied pouting Posh continued, "I mean I'm an intelligent girl with lots to say. I have views on world poverty and childhood deprivation and everything...I know where Wolverhampton is for Christsake."

"People think I live in this bubble and have no understanding of real life or real people. I'm sorry but that's just not the case. "

At this point in the interview Mrs Beckham's six bare chested minder's picked up the 6st celebrity, raised her over their heads and sang an a cappella version of "Spice up your life" as they carried Posh to her helicopter.

In a recent Mori poll only 12 % of British men said that they would take Victoria up the Dartford Tunnel if they had the chance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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