Written by ranger121
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Monday, 23 July 2007

image for Smoker's Rebellion: Floods "Deliberate"
Flooded Designated Smoking Area

A succession of anti-smoking ban open air "smoke-ins" in Gloucester and Tewkesbury, along with a number that were due to be held in the Worcester area were called off when the Government unleashed ASH and the other anti-tobacco organisations in full over the weekend.

The organisations deployed several thousand hose pipes, fire engines and water cannon, in order to flood the area, putting out millions of deadly cigarettes.

The smokers, some of whom were in several feet of water, vowed to carry on with their protest.

"They can put our cigarettes out, but we'll never surrender our pubs." Shouted one, defiantly lighting up on the roof of his house.

The anti-tobacco alliance spokesman, Nosmo King, said, "We have declared war on even the outdoor smoker. These deadly fumes have been seen in car parks and "designated" areas throughout the land. We intend to use hosepipes and water cannon to put cigarettes and cigars out from a safe distance. If we have to flood the entire Country, we will do. It's a small sacrifice for the health of the nation."

Local MP Sir Init Forthemoney was at The Open Golf yesterday, sharing a cigar with Jimenez and Clarke. "Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about," he said, between drags on a King Edward,"These health fanatics, going mad. They should be locked up."

When it was pointed out that this was a departure from his previous anti-tobacco stance, he said, "Well, I've changed my mind. The tobacco industry are really nice guys, wouldn't hurt a fly. They are businessmen, like any others, and shouldn't be cast as devils in this way."

A tobacco industry spokesman said, "The actions of the anti-tobacco lobby over the weekend just goes to show how far they are taking this. Sir Init Forthemoney is expressing his opinion, as he is entitled to do. His new directorship has nothing to do with it."

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