Written by trythisathome
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Topics: Dogs

Thursday, 19 July 2007

image for Dogs leave home in droves

Dogs all over the UK are leaving their homes for a better life.

It all started 4 days ago when an RSPCA advert came on during prime time viewing. Jenny the Jack Russell appeared on TV, talking about her bad owners. Jenny spoke in barks & whines but we have a Dog linguist who translated her speech.

"Hi my name is Jenny. My owners are very cruel to me. They never listen to me when I talk to them. I asked for a new collar 2 days ago & I am still waiting.

"Owners are very selfish. They make you hold in your toilet until they are ready to take you for a walk. Then as soon as you do your toilet they tut, pick it up & throw it away. I am like, (Hey I held that thing in for 3 hours. My tummy was sore).

"The worst part of my life is when they lock me in the house to go to work. I mean I haven't committed a crime. Why are they locking me up. They also tell me to go away when they are eating, yet they stare at me when I am. It is all very unjust.

"The thing is fellow dogs. We don't have to put up with it. Let us take a stand & stamp out this cruelty".

Mr. Frank Lewis told us of his devastation when his Border Collie, Stan, packed up his belongings and walked out.

"There was just no reasoning with him. He was leaving & that is that. I begged but he was having none of it. He never so much as looked back. Just popped his nose in the air and left. I have been playing with his squeaky toy all morning".

Police forces all over the UK have lost their sniffer dogs.

Drug Lords are having a Cracking time.The blind are being treated for massive head legions where they are walking into things. A spokesman for the RSPCA made this statement.

"I must sincerely apologize for my dogs behavior during filming. I thought she was just being cute. I had no idea she was sending messages to all the other dogs. I am very mad but I miss Jenny terribly. Please Jenny, come home. I will give up work & let you poop whenever you want. I am cooking pasta tonight. You can sit so close you can get on the plate if you want".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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