Written by Dan Holmes
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Topics: british

Saturday, 21 February 2004

image for Pillock to head British Council

Sir Real Pillock, well-known ex-everything on the British and international political scene, and recent EU commissioner for Not Really Doing Anything of Any Value has been appointed head of the British Council. The British Council is tasked with promoting the UK's reputation abroad in the arts, sciences and education. As if anyone knew or cared.

After his appointment by an independent body of government lackeys the Foreign Secretary Jack "don't frisk me it's my son" Straw said: "The Welsh Windbag is the perfect choice for this prestigious and meaningless post. He has a great vision for promoting English cultural values, a wealth of experience of milking government institutions, and he's as grateful as hell for the job after his time as an EU commissioner. Not that the pay or the perks are the same. But I should worry.This way he doesn't stand for parliament."

Sir Real, well k nown in the UK for being ginger and useless, was as pleased as a pit pony in a bath-house. He told theSpoof: "After all my years in politics, both here and at home in the UK and with the EU, I'm really looking forward to bringing all the skills I learned in the crucibles of British and EU politics to bear on the arduous but rewarding task of managing such a great institution as the British Council, with its reputation for high-quality educational and cultural services and its stated task of promoting and enhancing the standing of the UK....."

It is not known when Sir Real Pillock will stop this interview and go away. But we're all looking forward to it here.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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