Broadcasting House - (Ass Mess): The BBC is bracing itself for a new twist in the Queen documentary footage scandal after it emerged that part of the Corporation's flagship arselicking royal puff-piece has been accidentally cut and inserted into an edition of daytime moron TV show Trash in the Attic.
In an episode scheduled for transmission at Xmas the Queen appears rummaging through her ancient draws at Balmoral, foraging for war medals, gold watches and dental memorabilia belonging to the late Queen Mother "to make a few bob at auction and pay off the old bird's gambling debts."
The program's traditional format adheres to the predictable mixture of presenter Angela Rippon having orgasms over tatty scraps of Clarice Cliffe pottery making over twenty quid at auction and the astonished delight of the daftass sellers who are trying to raise money for a much needed lobotomy after watching too much BBC daytime TV.
A spokesman for the Beeb confirmed today that it was still "not too late" to scrap the Trash in the Attic Xmas Special and offer a grovelling apology after the offending cutting room editor is ritualistically hanged, drawn and quarterd at Tyburn Gate.
"But we might just wait a bit on this one and see if there is room for any quid pro quo on the question of the Corporation's Royal Charter being rescinded because of alleged "inherent disprespect" at the Beeb for Camilla," a spokesman said today.