Written by Tyke120
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Monday, 16 July 2007

image for BBC Admits Coronation 'faked'
The Queen and Prince Philip

The year - 1953. The place - the front rooms of England. The occasion - the Coronation of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

Watched by millions of grey-faced stick-limbed Britons, many of whom had stolen a television especially for the occasion, the Coronation of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in 1953 was the highlight of a time when World War II was beginning to seem like a golden age. Bread was rationed, the NHS was already in crisis, and Winston Churchill was once more dozing at the wheel, yet the nation came together on that day in June to witness the greatest event of the decade - the dawning of a new Elizabethan Age.

Or so they thought. In fact, The Spoof can reveal for the first time that the whole event was nothing more than a giant amateur dramatic performance, staged in a hangar in Denham and paid for by the Rank Organisation, at the behest of the government of the day.

Documents just released under Gordon Brown's 'bugger the BBC' policy show that the ceremony, far from being the solemnisation of the pact between the Sovereign and her people, was a re-run of a 1930's costume drama originally made by Cock-a-doodle-do Films and based on the life of Marie Antoinette, the famous French slapper. The Queen was played by someone who looked like what the Queen looked like when she was young, while everyone else was played by everyone else. Directed by Dickie (later Lord) Attenbatten of Mountborough, the whole shebang was made as a Christmas Present for Stalin, which was a bit pointless as he had died in March.

Acknowledging that this news might well cause a few raised eyebrows amongst the lower classes, many of whom regard the Queen as Head of State, the Archbeard of Glastonbury Hornbeam Kinnock nevertheless sought yesterday to calm peoples' fears. "This in no way detracts from the legitimacy of our Sovereign - whoever she is. After so long doing the job she might as well stay where she is - at least until the weather changes."

No-one from the Brown Brigade was available for interview.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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