Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 16 July 2007

image for Four Russian spooks booted out of London
One of them was caught smoking in a London pub after the imposition of the tobacco ban on July 1st

Whitehall, London SW1 - (Ass Mess): Four of Russia's top intelligence (sic) officers reporting directly to Saudi ex-ambassador to the USA Prince Bandar have been given the boot by the Foreign Office and told to pack their kit by Wednesday.

The move follows Russian refusal to extradite one of their Moscow top spook masters Andrei Lugovoi over the assassination of ex-KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko who died from a terrible Haloweeen trick-or-treat overdose of Plutonium-enriched cocaine last year.

Last weekend Russian president Vladimir Sputum threw a major wobbly at the whole debacle, denied his men had anything to do with Litvinenko's death and hotly refuted that they had also been on an assassination rampage involving the death of former Mossad/KGB spooks Ashraf Marwan, Cunt (sic) Gottfried Von Bismarck and half a dozen other minor characters connected with mysterious London 'suicides' this year.

Putin is livid that his old enemy Boris Berezovsky was given a British passport by the Blair government six years ago and shielded from extradition to Russia to face corruption and mass murder charges.

This weekend things got on top of him and he finally threatened to spill the beans on the Blair/Bush WMD fiasco which inadertantly ended the espionage career of CIA spook Valerie Plame.

Today's Foreign Office announcement has riled him even further and rumors on the London diplomatic circuit are buzzing with the news that he is about to make sure the UK's Daily Express will break the story later this week that Gordon Brown's gay love life has been hidden from the public gaze by the payment of £1 million to a top male model formerly apprenticed to Gianni Versace's couture house.

Putin is said to be lining up half a dozen British spooks in Moscow for a retalliatory expulsion on the grounds that they have been caught smuggling pornography to Iran - charges that may start a tit-for-tat war in an otherwise bleak and colorless summer season marked only by floods, daftass Posh and Becks stories and the news that Camilla has developed a goitre somewhere the sun has yet to shine.

Lord Levy is on life-support.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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