Written by Mike Hunt
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Topics: Jacqui Smith

Saturday, 14 July 2007

image for Home Secretary acts on Chapati Flour Danger
The new WMD

Following upon the use of Chapati Flour in an attempted suicide bombings, the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has reconsidered the status of Chapati Flour.

Once thought of as a harmless ground pulse used for making tasty Indian snacks, its true horror as a deadly weapon has been revealed and its is now rated as a NATO category 2 WMD. Chapati Flour will now longer be available for human consumption and its unauthorised use will carry a mandatory jail sentence.

Ministerial aids stated that the government was also reviewing Onion Bhajis, Poppadoms, Vindaloo and Phal to see whether or not they need to be banned.

Jacqui Smith commented, after a recent night out at a curry house: "I shat the bed, and this is when I realised the threat to British Society. I was in a terrible state, I had to kick John Prescott out the bed in case he fouled it as well! Christ that would have been bad. It was so awful that Shagger Blunket, who was in the room "listening", kicked his dog thinking that it was the culprit. I just said to myself come on girl Tony must have had a lot of shitty days pull yourself together."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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