Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): Queen Elizabeth's health has gone into a steep decline since the BBC documentary fiasco this week where an Eastenders-type plotline was inserted by the Corporation's controller of programmes 'as a bit of a giggile' to test the old girl's sense of humor.
At Buckingham Palace the Lord Chamberlain Lord Loose-Cannon said he wouldn't be at all surprised if she had a coronary or seizure following the tabloid headlines 'that had made her look like a daft old geriatric dressing up in pantomime garb' for US photographer Annie Liebowitz.
"This sort of thing can be very harmful for the over-eighties," Loose-Cannon added.
"So don't be at all surprised if her health suddenly takes a knock.
"I'd blame it all on those Republican chappies at the Beeb.
"Off to the Tower with the whole lot of them I say!"