Written by Offmechops
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Friday, 13 July 2007

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Mr Faggy Ash earlier today

It was announced earlier today that the new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown will extend the new smoking ban to include smoking whilst driving.

When interviewed Mr Brown was asked for the reasoning behind his decision. "Smoking is a dangerous habit and when doing it behind the wheel of a car is even more of a danger. The impact on the public, our wildlife, the environment, the buildings is immense and it must be stopped."

He added that the punishment for being caught smoking behind the wheel would be, smokers cars will be impounded and crushed. Smokers will also be made to leave their mobile phones in the cars so that it is crushed at the same time.

We asked Mr Brown if he thought the punishment too harsh. "Harsh? Of course not. Think about it, we are trying to save the earth for a better environment for our children, taking these cars off the road will mean less pollution, less hedgehogs and rabbits being killed on our roads, no cigarette buts thrown out of cars and setting little old ladies alight waiting at the bus stop. This will also be a huge reduction on the 'new' carbon footprint."

Mr Faggy Ash of Smoke-on-Trent was aghast, "They are taking away our rights as a free democtratic society. It's bad enough that we can't smoke in pubs, clubs, restaurants, offices, bus shelters, in fact, we can't smoke anywhere. Social outcasts that's what we are. The new heroin addicts of the noughties! What is gonna be next? No sex whilst driving? I will be fighting this as long as I live and breathe!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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