Written by Jean Le Fete
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Tuesday, 10 July 2007

image for Sir Elton John Loses nearly 90 Pounds! Head Practically Disappears!
Sir Elton John Losing his head?

Sir Elton John, who very recently headlined the Concert For Diana's Gerbil Fund, shocked fans with his sleek new slender look. What they might not have recognised is his head, which some estimate may have accounted for as much as 40% of the weightloss.

"Weight has been one of Elton's issues over the past 20 years, but until recently he couldn't find a diet he could live with," said longtime collaborator Bernie Taupin, "He was vacationing in the Solomon Islands and went to visit a head shrinker, a witch doctor if you will, just for kicks you know. When he got back to Vegas he looked like a different person."

The question is now will John's head stop shrinking? Some say he must go back to the head shrinkers and have them put a reversal spell on to combat any over shrinkage. If not his head could end up the size of a door knob.

"Oh there is not a doubt this could impact his concert voice," said Taupin, "He could end up sounding like one of the Chipmunks. You have to be careful...of course in the 70s he did kind of sound like one when his voice got really high."

The word in Las Vegas is that John has cancelled next months shows, so that he may return to the witch doctor and get his head examined.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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