CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - TheSpoof.com's editor, Mark Lowton, that cheap, good for nothing b%$#$^d that won't pay those of us who write for him, revealed today that he grew his handlebar mustache in order to get women.
In spite of the fact that Mark Lowton has taken a vow of celibacy, he says,
"I still like women. Just because I'm celibate doesn't mean I like to be lonely."
"How do you get the women's interest," asked reporter Cal Jennings.
"I just ask them if they want a ride on my handlebar," said Lowton.