Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 6 July 2007

image for Celebrity Big Brother Jade Goody Unrepentant After Driving Ban
Goody leaves court

Jade Goody, the Celebrity Big Brother houseslug, has been banned from driving for six months after admitting various motoring offences.

The 26-year-old, from Chipping Ongar, which is not, as is popularly thought, an erotic sexual position, pleaded guilty to driving her car on the M1 motorway in Buckinghamshire 'no-handed'.

The former TV celebrity also told Basildon Magistrates Court that she had no tax, insurance or driving licence, that she had stolen the car from central London, and that she was an outright racist.

Earlier this year, Goody clashed swords with, and was beaten by, Bollywood movie star and supermodel Shilpa Shetty, the eventual winner of the CBB competition.

Magistrate John Rumpole told Goody:

"You are a menace. Not only are you a blatant example of the kind of Slug that respectable, law-abiding people have to endure in modern-day Britain, but you also show a flagrant disregard for the laws of the road. Society will not put up with it. Would you please now leave the House!"

Afterwards Goody addressed reporters outside the Court, shouting:

"Whatever!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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