Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Pete Doherty

Thursday, 5 July 2007

image for Trailer Trash Doherty living under London's Westway dual carriageway
Doherty's new bijou post-modernist apartment is located under Westway

London - (Ass Mess): Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has moved into his bijou, open-plan, post-modernist, uniquely-appointed estate-agents' dream trailer under the West London dual carriageway called Westway.

"Trailer-chic is the latest post-urban concession to city apartment living," said Dave Floggit from Grubby Whore & Sons, estate agents of Notting Hill.

"We are seeing increasingly more and more clients downsizing to the bijou level of the flea-infested dodgy mattress-strewn caravan complete with panoramic views of open-plan urinating tossers from the local crack den across the road.

"Mr Doherty is believed to be renting his trailer from a local smack dealer...er, local bespoke landlord and import-export pharmaceutical agent.

"We have a number of similar properties on our books for discerning clients who may be having difficulties relocating after being sent packing by their girlfriends, wives, lovers, etc.

"For a negotiable £500 per week we can offer a range of similar accommodations, some of which are noticeably pricier due to their proximity to the legendary Mr Doherty of Babyshambles fame."

Doherty was ordered by a London judge on Tuesday to undergo detox and a 12 step program in rehab by August 7
or face a custodial sentence for yet another drug possession charge.

His personal effects had already been slung in a skip by ex-girlfriend Kate Moss who cleared out his belongings from her Primorose Hill house, fumigated it from top to bottom, changed the locks and put it under 24 armed guard in a bid to keep the shambolic junkie Doherty out of her life.

Moss meanwhile has legged it to Paris where she is drowning her sorrows and said to be sticking pins into a voodoo-style doll resembling the slag that last shagged Doherty behind her back prompting their final bust-up.

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