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Thursday, 5 July 2007

image for Smoker's rebellion: Landlord moves pub outside

Britain's first totally outdoor bar was opened in the small hamlet of Smokington-on-Sea today.

The landlord, fed up with smokers being stood outside his normally busy pub because of recent government legislation, has removed the bar and all the fixtures and fittings, jukebox, one-arm bandit and the pool table out into the car park.

As it is now not an "enclosed public place", it does not have to be a smoke free area, and patrons can puff away happily at the bar.

"The anti-smokers can sit inside the pub, if they like, but there's no bar or anything inside, so they'll have to come out here for a drink," said defiant landlord Tony Fag, 32. "If they don't like smoke, they can go inside." He added.

Large umbrellas, called Jumbrellas, have been provided for the ladies' dart team, which meets on Mondays, when heavy rain has been forecast.

A spokesperson for the team said, "Obviously, with the rain, and the dartboard being mounted on a fence-post because there's no walls, it makes for an interesting competition. But we're happy that we can finally have a smoke whilst playing."

A non-smoker was to be asked for comment, but there were none in the pub.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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