Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 2 July 2007

image for Car Bomb At Glasgow Airport Was A Protest Against Smoking Ban, Say Police
Those tinkers!

The attempted bombing of Glasgow Airport on Saturday, was most likely a protest against the Government's new Smoking Ban, say Police.

The ban, which came into effect on Sunday, makes it illegal for anyone to smoke, light a fire or ram a burning jeep into a public building, but it has already met with stern opposition, particularly amongst Muslim smokers, some of whom may be Islamic Funded Mentalists.

Tabib al-Fagash, spokesman for extremist smoking group, Smoke Yourself To Death For Islam, said:

"The Muslim community is outraged. The intimidation and persecution of Muslims whilst smoking, is something we will not tolerate. It's my opinion that, if the Government doesn't scrap this very unfair law soon, we are going to see a tangible increase in the number of Suicide Smokers."

Police had, in fact, thought that the jeep driven into the Glasgow Airport terminal building, had been the work of George Galloway MP, after his 'altercation' there last month. Witnesses, however, spoke of seeing two men staggering smoking from the wreck with blazing towels wrapped around their heads.

Sgt Jock Sporran of Strathclyde Police said:

"Opposition to the Smoking Law has been vociferous, but my officers have been briefed and are ready for anything - even al-Qaeda."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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