London - (Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has wept openly on a TV documentary to be broadcast in the UK on July 4th and stated categorically "I am not bonkers."
In the 60 minute vanity piece Cherie told presenter Fiona Bruce: "How could I be such a successful QC and be that completely stupid?"
How indeed is the obvious reply...
Since coming into the public gaze in 1994 when husband Tony assassinated Labour Leader John Smith with a fatal cardiac medication overdose and succeeded him in leading the Party
Cherie has brazened out UK intelligence about the daughter she bore George W Bush in 1970 shortly after their Catholic wedding in Mexico City.
And Blair himself has neglected to mention that the real Cherie Booth he married in 1979 lies at the bottom of a cement quarry on the Isle of Mull after a drunken slanging match in 1982 made him lose his rag and fatally wallop the "bolshie old scouser" with an ashtray.
A brilliant subsequent plan by his chum Peter Mandelson immediately replaced the dead Cherie with the lookalike shyster lawyer daughter of 1980s |UK Prime M<onster Margaret Thatcher and Robert Maxwell.
To ensure that everybody then lived happily ever after Thatcher then installed Stella Rimington - her nieced by marriage - at the top of counter-intelligence in MI5 and performed obsequious acts of carnal knowledge on the head of classified criminal records at NATO.
The documentary will be shown on Wednesday alongside a family portrait of the smiling Blairs on holiday with Garry Glitter in Phukhet, Thailand.
Lord Levy is 69.