Written by Shinny
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Topics: Smoking, Smoking Ban

Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for Smoking Ban Heralds Dawn of Government Control
Hypocritical surgeon sucking on a Benson

A smoking ban came in force at 6am, 1st of July 2007, and already has been the subject of discussion up and down the UK.

It is now an offence to smoke a cigarette, cigar, roll-up or spliff in any enclosed space in the whole of the UK. This has been described as a "grotesque piece of social engineering" imposed by a "political and media elite", and poses the question; "What next?"

A leaked document found in an abandoned Mercedes Benz in Park Lane, details Mr Brown's next plans to ban drinking, talking, eating and breathing in public. The bans, which are to be announced in August, will mean that any person found to be drinking any liquid beverage, engaging in conversation, consuming any food product or inhaling and exhaling God-given air in an enclosed space will receive and on-the-spot fine of £50, or a week in prison.

Iqbal Dhaliwal, proprietor of the Goose and Granite and Crown and Cushion and Dog and Duck Generic Wetherspoons Pub Arms in Walsall says "The drinking ban will pretty much finish off the pub trade, as will the eating ban."

Mr Dhaliwal serves a selection of pub meals, and fears that the new move will cause people to stay at home, "panic eating" as well as drinking heavily and smoking like chimneys. "As for the breathing ban.. Jesus, people will be dropping like flies."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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