New figures show a remorseless dive in the numbers of UK marriages and a massive increase in the birth of babies outside of wedlock.
By 2010 it is expected that half of all new born kids will be bastards.
This news comes as no surprise to those who already think that most children are misbegotten feral mongrels and the UK's weak response of handing out Anti-Social Behaviour Orders has done little to help.
Bus passengers are most at threat from an increased number of the illegitimate little angels who seem to think everyone wants to share their music and conversations.
The International Federation of Grumpy Old Men has announced a two phase plan. A spokesman told The Spoof.com, "We are pressing Government to end child support and force cereal makers to alter their ingredients to incorporate the morning after pill".