Written by Dan Holmes
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Friday, 13 February 2004

image for Passion over for Tony and Dubbya

Valentine's Day? You may be giving your loved one whatever they want on this day dedicated to the Patron Saint of lurve - but don't mention it in Downing Street or the White House. The love that dare not speak its name, the love that blossomed to the sound of gunfire may have burned bright, but it may have burned itself out all too soon.

"George doesn't call me like he used to" moans Blair as he wipes the ketchup from his shirtfront and takes a swig from his gin bottle."Only a few weeks ago he was calling me two, three times a day. And we would be on the phone for hours whispering little secrets to each other. But now - I haven't heard from him in ages. It's just too much for a sensitive soul like me. And the worst part is - I don't know what I've done wrong. Call me, Dubbya - please!"

"These affairs don't last forever" says George W. gruffly, trying to hold back a tear. "Tony and me - well, we got it on, man, and while it lasted it was pretty dam' good. But - he's got his life over there in the Untied Condom, and we've got ours here in the Land of the Free. I suppose in the end it's the difference between tradition and the questing spirit that is the American Way. After all, what does an English Public Schoolboy know of Krispy Kreme donuts and the NRA?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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