Written by Shaun Ferguson
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Saturday, 16 June 2007

Bombay born author Salman Rushdie has been honoured with a Sainthood in the Queen's Birthday Honours List.

A spokesman said the prize had been awarded in recognition of pissing off Iran's spiritual leader, Ayatollah "Ali-the-Nuke" Khamenei, who famously issued a fatwa against him in 1989 for shopping in Marks and Spencer.

Rushdie who was educated in Rugby admits that his academic career was far from illustrious. "My best subject was colouring in", he said.

A former member of Cambridge Footlights theatre company, he now writes children's books.

Saint Salman expressed no surprise at his recognition and said, "I am sure my loan to the Labour Party had nothing to do with it".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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