Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 16 June 2007

image for Heavy Flooding In West Midlands Uproots Housing Estate
"That rayn were a bugger!"

There was heavy rain in the West Midlands area yesterday, and emergency services were on full alert today as more bad weather was expected.

The River Tame, north of Birmingham, was not really living up to its name, and burst its banks, cutting the second city off from civilisation, much to the relief of the Government, to whom the area is an embarrassment.

And in Dudley, ten miles away, a whole housing estate was uprooted and washed fifty miles closer to the sea in North Wales. The Wrens Nest estate, a local eyesore, was built around a nature reserve where fossils from the Chavolithic Period can still be found.

Local historian Dave Brewton said:

"The ground just gave way. The whole estate just started moving, houses, garages, a Spar, a couple of pubs - it was crazy!"

In Sutton Coldfield, factory 'workers' were trapped inside their place of 'work', when flood waters rose to around six feet whilst they slept. Fire crews tried desperately to raise the 'workers' from their slumbers but were unable to do so. A spokesman for the West Midlands emergency services said:

"We will try again at first light. This is always happening. They're bone idle."

The residents of Dudley are no strangers to natural disasters as the area suffered an earthquake in 2002, with many pots and pans being thrown from kitchen shelves, and dogs yelping wildly.

Mr Brewton commented:

"It baint no different from normal! But that rayn were a bugger werit?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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