Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Barrymore 'flabbergasted' at pool death arrest
The pool, similar to this one, was quickly concreted over after the first cop probe

Essex - (Ass Mess): Comedian Michael Barrymore is said to be in a state of utter shock after being arrested along with two others this morning in the reopened murder probe into Stuart Lubbock's suspicious death six years ago.

Despite a previous police investigation no charges were ever filed and Barrymore was said to have been 'cock-a-hoop' at the dearth of evidence linking him to the brutal sex torture and death of the 31 year old rent boy.

He even joked once on national TV that a 'very senior UK cop high up in the Met' had helped ensure no charges were ever brought in the Lubbock death probe, a statement that has since been a pivotal starting poing in the reopening of the investigation.

In recent interviews he also hinted that Lubbock's injuries 'may have been self-inflicted' after a sleazy drug-induced mutual masturbation session in the Barrymore swimming pool with 'person or persons unknown'.

The initial police investigation focused on what happened to the comedian's domestic CCTV footage which disappeared mysteriously along with several witnesses on the night of the unexplained death.

The other two men, aged 37 and 32, were also detained on suspicion of murder and sexual assault this morning after microscopic investigation of their original police statements was found to be seriously polluted with inconsistencies.

News of police charges are expected shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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