Written by screenfreeze
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Topics: Gordon Brown

Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Brown pushes transport into new millenium.

Gordon Brown is preparing a radical shake-up of the current state of British transportation for the public and commuters alike.

speaking to a reporter outside number 10 yesterday he claimed that British transport was in dire need of improvement and believes his realistic plans are just what Britain needs.

"I think traditional vehicles such as trains, buses and unicycles are on the way out," he burbled. "We're currently looking into newer things, such as hover boards for older people, and huge mechanised rats for children , and last night i had a dream where commuters flew to work with the aid of angels"

When pressed with the fact angels do not exist, and that hover boards and mechanised rats not only sounded like the drugged ramblings of a loner misfit, but also impossible to fund, he responded: "Firstly, these things can easily be funded, if Britain is willing to cut down on food and water, electricity and warmth, these things will one day come to fruition, and as for angels not existing..well, I've seen them...I've seen them!"

Critics are currently pondering the state of Brown's mental health, pointing out that he may be in a very stressed situation. This accusation isn't helped by the fact that later today Gordon Brown will be forcing a penguin to eat hard boiled sweets at London zoo because "they have to learn".

His new single "unstoppable bastard" is due out on the 18th on dictator records. all proceeds go to the FLY-WITH-ANGELS research group.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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